Dear Deer

Please stop eating my fruit trees.  I planted them for my family, and you keep nibbling off the ends of the branches.  We live right in the middle of a whole bunch of fields of grain.  I'm sure you can find something else to eat!  I know my peaches are only the size of golf balls, but they're still not for you.  Stop picking them!  They're not ripe yet.  (That's probably why you only eat half and leave the rest on the ground.)  Trust me.  If one isn't ripe, the rest aren't either.  You don't have to try every single one!

Thank you for your immediate attention to this problem!